I thought I'd bring this up because it's been puzzling me and I'd love to hear some feedback on it. I'm wondering about how much control Penelope really has over her home.
On the one hand, her son (who's understandably bitter, but still) seems to think that Penelope could get rid of all the suitors "plaguing" her:
"And mother -- she neither rejects a marriage she despises nor can she bear to bring the courting to an end --"
Athena seems to agree that Penelope is being indecisive and should get it together, already:
"As for your mother, if the spirit moves her to marry, let her go back to her father's house, a man of power. Her kind will arrange the wedding, provide the gifts, the array that goes with a daughter dearly loved."
But isn't Penelope caught in a terrible place? First, not knowing if her husband is dead or alive, she's in limbo, neither wife nor widow. She can't move decisively, either emotionally or legally, because she doesn't have anything definite to work with.
Second, she's a woman. Even Athena, saying that she should move on if she's going to, says that she has to go back to her father's home to do so. This was a very patriarchal culture; even if she were definitely a widow, would she really have a lot of control over her own household? If men refused to leave, what could she do to force them?
Maybe this will all be clearer when I read further, but it's puzzling me now. I have a little background about the ins and outs of Greek society, but I'm not seeing a clear answer to this one.